Sorry
by Sebastian the Mercat
Summary: After the Vortex party, Warren feels something inexplicable: Guilt, for beating up Nathan as bad as he did. After all, no one, not even Nathan, deserved that. Warning for violence and Grahamscott-ish-ness.


**_Salutations! This contains spoilers for episode 4, but not...major ones. Like, I never write about time travel - I only write about the gay trash babies._**

 ** _Important Note: This was published previous to the release of episode 5._**

Warren gasped, sitting up ramrod straight in his bed. His hands were clenching the sheets tightly, as he tried to force himself to breath calmly.

In spite of his pitch-black room, Warren still felt it spinning - though whether it was the little amount of alcohol he had had, or from that horrifying nightmare he just awoken from, he had no clue. He quickly switched on his bedside lamp, flooding the room with soft golden light. Leaning back against his pillows, allowing his heart to slow back down to its normal rate, Warren finally began to feel normal again.

That is...until he opened his eyes, catching a glimpse of his darkly bruised knuckles. He sucked in a breath, feeling his heart began to pound hard again.

So it HAD happened. It was REAL.

Warren brought up his hands to run over his sweaty face, squeezing his eyes shut. That action did not help that queasy feeling in his stomach, though, as several images flashed across his mind.

His head knocking someone back. His foot slamming into that same someone's hand, causing it to make a sickening snapping sound. His feet lodging themselves into that someone's stomach, no doubt cracking their ribs, if not worse. His fists flying, his words biting, his desire to HURT...

And then there was Max, pulling him backwards, her soft voice soothing his frayed nerves. Only then, did he truly look, truly understand the gravity if what he had done to that person.

Nathan was curled up, shaking, blood oozing out from between his fingers as he sobbed, weak and fearful words begging him to "please stop," and that he was "sorry". He didn't get back up and curse Warren out, or try to hurt any of them. He just...he just laid there, his body not even attempting to do more than curl into a fetal position.

And they all just walked away.

Warren forced himself to stand up from his bed, stretching. He hadn't changed out of the clothes he had worn to the Vortex Party, so he didn't have to throw on anything before making his way out into the hall.

He wasn't sure why, but Warren had this sickening feeling in his stomach that would not cease. After all, Nathan was the king of the Vortex Club - he was always there, and it was always obvious that he was there (he was a rather loud and obnoxious dork of a drunk, not that Warren could say anything, considering his extremely low alcohol tolerance).

The fact of the matter was simple: Nathan hadn't been at the party, and in spite of himself, Warren was pretty fucking worried.

Under normal circumstances, he wouldn't give a fuck. But...Nathan had looked so...thoroughly beaten.

And it was all Warren's fault.

Warren made his way down the hall as quietly as he could manage, ignoring the various...suspicious sounds coming out of various boys' dorms. He finally made it to the front hall, where the fight had happened.

Nathan wasn't still there, not that Warren really believed he would be. However, there was a rather large bloodstain where Nathan's body had been laying. Warren swallowed convulsively, feeling that sick feeling only increase.

He quickly made his way to the guys' bathrooms, making sure not to make too much noise.

Hoping that splashing some water on his face would snap him out of this shit, Warren leaned over, the sink, about to turn it on, when he heard it.

From the last stall, echoed a weak cough, followed by gagging and heaving sounds, like someone throwing up (which did not help Warren's situation).

It wasn't uncommon for there to be a lot of throwing up following a Vortex Party.

But this was different - Warren could sense it. That's why, instead of splashing water on his face and getting the hell out of there, Warren tiptoed to the last stall, peaking in.

As he suspected, it was Nathan. He, unlike Warren, was dressed in nightclothes: A really worn pair of red sweatpants with a loose waistband and a dull white t shirt. Nathan was gripping the bowl of the toilet in an iron grip, in spite of his shaking knees. His bare arms displayed the painful bruises and welts Warren had left on him earlier.

Warren swallowed as Nathan began heaving again, his back tensing as he expelled the waste from his body.

Somehow, Nathan must have sensed him or heard him, because he whirled around, light blue eyes opening wide.

Or, rather, as wide as the two very swollen black eyes allowed him to.

Warren felt dizzy, looking at Nathan's face. The other boy's face was...it was just horrible.

Blood was still dripping from the corner of his mouth, most likely from his throwing up. Nathan had at least cleaned his face up a bit...but that made the scratches and bruises stand out all the more against his too pale skin.

And the expression Nathan wore on his face made Warren feel ten times worse.

The second Nathan had seen Warren, immediately, a mask of fear settled over his features, as he pushed himself backwards into the wall.

Fear. Nathan feared Warren. Feared him so much that tears were beginning to form in his eyes, and the shakes in his body increased tenfold.

Warren opened his mouth to speak, but no words would come to him.

Nathan, however, beat him to it, "H...haven't you already d-done enough?" he whispered. A hand came up to run through his messy hair catching slightly on some dry blood. He winced, dipping his head low. "P...please. Please, just...j-just leave me alone..."

Warren felt any words that might have formed evaporate immediately. His tongue felt like a rough piece of chalk.

Warren took a deep breath, watching as Nathan weakly curled up. Well, if words failed him...he'd have to take action.

He bent down slowly, until he was kneeling beside Nathan. He breathed in and out through his nose a couple times, before he worked up the courage to place a hand on Nathan's shoulder.

The other boy flinched, a soft whimper wrenching its way from his throat. That was all it took for Warren to once again find his words.

"I'm sorry..." Warren whispered. His hand - still placed upon Nathan's quivering shoulder - began gently massaging it, in an attempt to calm him. "I...never meant for you to get hurt like this. I mean...no one deserves...this."

Nathan slowly brought his face up from his hands, his eyes meeting Warren's. "I do. I...deserved it."

Warren immediately cut in, "No you didn't! What happened...I just...got carried away..."

Nathan brought his knees up to his chest, hugging them. It was only then that Warren realized how...small, Nathan seemed in comparison to him.

"But everything...e-everything you said about me is true," Nathan whispered, finally. His face grew slightly paler, his eyes distant. "I hurt people. I don't want to, I swear but...it's like there's this...this monster...and..." Nathan's fingers came up to wrap around his already-wild hair, tugging furiously. "It's like there's this horrible monster in my head, forcing me to do things..."

Warren flinched as Nathan's eyes suddenly became focused again, their desperation pinning him in place. "I don't want to hurt people!" he exclaimed rather loudly, the tears in his eyes now freely running down his face. "I...d-don't..."

Warren swallowed. "I...know..."

He didn't, not really. In fact, he suddenly realized he knew little to nothing about this guy he had been attending school with for a couple months, which was sort of strange, considering how small Blackwell really was.

All he knew about Nathan was what he learned from the rumors: That Nathan was an angry guy with an abusive father, that Nathan had some sort of mental issues...mental issues that - instead of being handled by actual people - were being handled by shoving pills down the poor boy's throat.

Warren winced at the thought. Great, all he had done was add to the guy's long list of problems. And he was supposed to be the good guy.

And worst of all, Warren felt that if Max hadn't came up, gently grabbing his arm saying, "He's down!" pulling him away, Warren was afraid he wouldn't have stopped. Not until Nathan was screaming in agony. Not until those screams died to incoherent whimpers and begging words. Not until even that stopped, as the other boy was unconscious. Not until his chest ceased to rise and fall-

Warren made a choking sound, feeling his eyes burning. As gently as he could manage, he leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Nathan, hugging him.

Though the other boy tensed, that didn't stop Warren from whispering, "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry, Nathan..." over and over again.

Nathan continued to shiver, his entire body tense, but he slowly relaxed a bit, at Warren's fingers gently running through his hair.

Eventually, though, Warren became acutely aware of the ache in his knees from kneeling on the hard bathroom floor for so long. He could only imagine how Nathan felt.

He pulled back slowly, noticing how Nathan's arms gripped at his back slightly, before releasing him.

"Do you need help back to your room?" Warren asked.

Nathan hesitated unsure, before sighing and shrugging in a rather defeated fashion. "Why the fuck not...y-you've already seen me at my worst..."

Warren helped Nathan to stand, before they began making their way to Nathan's dorm.

They walked slowly, Nathan leaning heavily against Warren. The amount of pain he was in was obvious, by the way he hissed and whimpered, his grip on Warren tightening whenever he was jostled too much.

"I did this to you..." Warren whispered, the guilt he had been feeling was beginning to feel quite overwhelming. Nathan merely snorted, as though trying to make light of the situation. It only half-way worked.

"I-I'm alright. Or I will be, anyway..." Nathan said quietly, before letting out another pained moan, his body leaning more heavily on Warren's than it had been before.

"Hey, stay with me Nathan! We're nearly there!" Warren whispered in encouragement. Nathan didn't respond.

As quickly and gently as he could manage, Warren half-dragged, half-carried Nathan the rest of the way to his dorm, pushing the door open with his foot.

Nathan's room was sort of creepy - it was dark, and most of the colors used in it were shades of blacks, grays, and whites. It looked like, under normal circumstances, it would be in pristine condition. As it were, Nathan's bloody clothes from earlier were tossed carelessly on the floor, along with a bunch of equally bloody tissues. Nathan's bed had some blood in it as well, and was unmade, as though the first thing Nathan did after he got himself back to his dorm after the fight was to plop down on his bed.

In spite of that, Warren gently maneuvered the other boy onto the bed, before trying to settle him into a more comfortable position.

Nathan groaned, his consciousness returning a bit, his eyes blearily focused on Warren. "Sorry...sorry."

"Stop apologizing," Warren demanded, pulling the soft blankets up around Nathan's body. "I already feel guilty as all hell for doing this to you..."

"You...shouldn't. I would have d-done the same if someone would have attacked Vic..."

Warren awkwardly stood beside the bed, having finished tucking Nathan in. "I...didn't know you two were that close."

"She...she's the only person around here that actually gives a damn about me anymore..." Nathan admitted. He closed his eyes, seeming to fight back emotions. Those words, though, caused Warren's heart to ache.

"I know...it's not much coming from the ass that beat you up," Warren murmured, rubbing the back of his neck, "but I don't want you to end up dead in some alleyway as much as I do the next guy."

Warren knew it was pretty fucking weak, as caring words go. But Nathan's eyes opened once more, filled with gratitude.

"That's...actually the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a while..." Nathan admitted.

Warren felt tears building up in his eyes again. He wasn't cut out for this - for helping someone that was so emotionally jaded that they felt touched at someone saying they didn't necessarily want him to end up dead. He wasn't cut out for the level of pain Nathan had no doubt experienced in his lifetime. He wasn't cut out for the level of emotion that Nathan brought out of him.

Without even having realized it, a sob had built up in his throat, coming out as a long whine, before the floodgates broke loose.

Nathan eyed Warren in shock, as the other boy absolutely broke down.

"I...I hurt you...oh god, I could have KILLED YOU! Oh GOD!" Warren desperately scrubbed at his face.

"H-hey...it's cool, bro...it's...no big deal..."

"It IS a big deal! Have you LOOKED at yourself?!" Warren hiccuped, bowing his head. "I...I'm sorry..."

There was shifting sound, and suddenly, thin arms were wrapping around him. The hug was hesitant and sort of weak, but Warren accepted it all the same, burying his face in Nathan's shoulder.

He wasn't sure for how long he sat there sobbing, but Nathan didn't push him away. It was only when Warren's tear ducts ran dry and he sat back that Nathan released him.

"I'm...sorry fir getting your t shirt all snotty," Warren murmured, blushing.

Nathan gave a little shrug. "Worse things have happened today."

Warren opened his mouth to (once again) apologize, but Nathan softly laid his hand over it before he could begin talking. "Will you stop apologizing? It's...over, alright?"

Warren eyed him suspiciously. "So...you're not going to hold a grudge?"

Nathan's expression shifted into something strange. It was as if he was trying to keep the mask he wore everyday up in place, whilst pushing down the pain (which failed miserably, due to how horrible his face looked). Nathan eventually sighed, just looking tired, as he sunk down into his bed, pulling up the sheets to his chin.

"I don't see what the point would be, really, to hold a grudge. Not now."

Warren felt his heart begin to ache again, but Nathan rolled over, placing his back to Warren. Clearly, the conversation was over.

 ** _A/N EPISODE 4 HURT MY HEART. No, not because of Chloe, you emo teens, but because of poor Nathan! Holy crap, he got the shit beat out of him...my poor babies!_**

 ** _Look forward to more stories about that particular subject._**

 ** _Please review!_**


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